Sarah: This award that you are sayin’ they are giving me, the woman one, you are sayin’ they are giving it to me for not running for President?
Voice on phone: Yes for staying home with your family.
Sarah: My flippin’ family? They bought that crap about stayin’ home with these ungrateful snots who want all my money? Giving me an award for not running for a flippin’ crappy job that I’m too good for and didn’t want and wasn’t planning to go for anyway because Obama Hussein probably trashed the White House anyway, knowin’ that cow of a wife of his, there, pretendin’ she can run so I’m gettin’ an award for quittin’ after pretendin’ to want the job so that those GOP dolts, there in the beltway, those wimpy ones, bein’ jealous of me and Obama, would be vetting themselves and learnin’ how to have a still spine?
Voice on phone: Yup.
Sarah: God I’m good. I need to not run for president next time too.
Sarah: I think I’ll wear my leopard jacket for the award. PIPER!! Stop scrubbing the studio bathroom and pack my spare wigs! And my leopard coat! And my Spanx! Those whiny GOPers at CPAC will be so jealous.
