Category Archives: history

Flaming pundent

Sarah has been a busy bee on Faux this last week. I can’t keep up with the hair, outfits, and home improvements. Luckily, what comes out of her mouth doesn’t change much, except when she discovers a new word.

Ya know these last coupla days blah blah establishment blah blah media blah blah crucify blah blah rewrite history blah blah…

The main thing THE MAIN THING blah blah Obama blah blah…

Blah blah process of vetting needs to continue blah blah…

No sudden and relentless desire blah blah…

Allow that vetting to continue blah blah such negativity such deception blah blah…

Blah blah and the politics of personal destruction blah blah keeps good people blah blah…

What is this that is fair to the voters blah blah pathetic sick unfair blah blah…

Blah blah not wave a white flag blah blah go along to get along blah blah…

We wanna see a fighter out there blah blah Obama blah blah does not understand the foundation blah blah…

We wanna see somebody stick it to him blah blah…

Willing and able blah blah…

I’m up here in Alaska, runnin’ businesses and raisin’ children blah blah…

blah blah under Mitch Daniels blah blah we have what we have blah blah white flag blah blah people like me blah blah pro-growth blah blah…

That rogue warrior maverick blah blah…

Pro-growth agenda blah blah time-tested blah blah gettin’ government off our back blah blah democrats don’t blah blah they’re the ones blah blah…

Plastic Mayhem: Paul Revere and the Bus

The last time we checked in on half-assed, half-marathon Sarah, or, as OZ Mudflats calls her, “Our Lady of the Divine Sneakers,” she was trudging her way back home after dealing a death blow to the hopes and dreams of her crazy pack of flying monkeys. However, one rill American patriot doesn’t believe she is going to sit down and shut up, so he has decided to take things into his own hands.

Justice in PlasticLand is swift and mayhemy. It must be, because the Mordor of PlasticLand (PlasticDoor?) is pumping out an assembly line of Sarahs, each one screechier than the last. The good citizens of PlasticLand cannot rest until the fiery flames of PlasticDoor are quenched, and the Sarah mold is broken. Then, and only then, can the denizens of this fine land have their Banquet of Rejoicing.

Which courageous citizen of PlasticLand has stepped forward this time to take on one of the Sarahs?

It’s our hero, Paul Revere! Back for another round with the Great Screech of the North. Yay! We love you Paul!

And what will be his instrument of justice?

OMG, Paul and the Bus are reunited! Forward to the quest! Ring ring!! Blam blam!!

Paul spots Sarah trudging along. He speeds up.

Sarah sees the Bus.

She suddenly realizes it is coming for her. That Bus has become a h8ter. Sarah starts to run.

Paul and the Bus bear down on Sarah. Ring ring!! Blam blam!!

Sarah runs faster.

Not fast enough.

Ring ring!! Blam blam!! Bump bump!!

Then the Bus backs up. Bump bump!! Blam blam!! Ring ring!!

Forward again! Ring ring!! Blam blam!! Bump bump!!

And Paul rejoices!  Woohoo!!

Much rejoicing.  Woohoo woohoo!!

And peace descends upon the land until the next Sarah shows up.

Paul Revere and the Bus

What if, instead of Paul Revere warning the colonists about the British, he instead was warning us about the Palin Bus? This modern version could play out in different ways. Below are alternate scenarios for Paul Revere and the Bus.

The Bus is coming! The Bus is coming!

Paul was a big man.

Not big enough.

Another one bites the dust.

The Palin Bus doesn’t stop for mere history.

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

Just a speed bump.

Follow the Bus at www.sarahpac.com.

Sigh. Paul Revere reduced to a historical “foot”note.

 

Well that was depressing.  I have a better idea.

The Bus is coming! The Bus is coming!

Die Hard!!

Paul wrestles the Bus as it careens down the road!

The Bus driver swerves madly in a failed attempt to throw Paul off the Bus!

Paul doesn’t lose his grip! The Bus is out of control!

Crash! Paul leaps clear and the Bus skids to a stop!

Woohoo!

One Nation for ALL of us! Not just the crazies!

Thanks folks. Just doing my civic duty. Speaking of which, I’m off to jury duty. USA! USA!

And the country rejoiced. Much rejoicing. Don’t forget to vote.