Reading material.  Leave your laptop on the table during the session.

Welcome everybody. I’m Marilyn, and I will be facilitating your group therapy sessions.

I realize that most of you aren’t here willingly, either having been sent here by a judge or by your families, but I’m hoping that you will take responsibility for your own recovery and really work on your addiction.

Scary troll text: This lady is full of shit.

Marilyn: Excuse me scary troll. You know that blackberries aren’t allowed during therapy.

Scary Troll text: Eat shit.

Purple Troll text: You’re just jealous, Scary.

Scary Troll text: And you’re an immature hater.

Marilyn: Purple Troll stop it. Both of you stop it now.

Marilyn: Put the Blackberries down NOW. ALL of you. What is the matter with you?

Troll texts: What a lame hater…You are fucking ignorant…LOL witless…You must be paid to spew…You are so immature…Fucking bitch….Get a life….Asswipe….Bwwhahahaha…You’re a troll, get lost…Pot calling kettle black, troll…I pity your family….You’re too ugly to have family…I hope you off yourself….eat shit and die…Immature haters…

Marilyn: You are all going to lose computer privileges.

Mini and Purple texts: Nobody tells us what to do.

Marilyn: Put away those computers!

Marilyn: Stop it! Stop it!

Troll texts: This place is lame…I’m telling everybody on the Internet what a suck ass place this is…

Fighting Trolls: Don’t tell me what to do, you retard!…Takes one to know one, Santorum…Oh I’m so Romney, NOT….ouch, you all suck…Get off my face!

Marilyn: You people are insane!

Marilyn: You are all going to end up in isolation!

Fighting Trolls: Grunt…ow…stop that bitch…get off my face!

Marilyn: That’s it! I’m done with this!

Marilyn: Somebody else can run these damn therapy sessions!

Fighting Trolls: Gurgle…snarl…bitch…LOL…retard…immature…ow!

Marilyn: They don’t pay me nearly enough for this kind of crap.

Marilyn: I quit. I’d rather teach Middle School.

Little Blue troll text: Bwahahahaha! Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. Buh Bye!

A typical troll assortment.  A fairy tale troll, a concern troll, an immaturity troll, and a scary off-its-rocker troll.

Maybe just one very delusional, very caffeinated troll.

Concern Troll: You should be worried about what evil Obama Hussein is doing instead of hating on a rill American family.  And Soros is taking over the world using Alinsky tactics.

Fairy Tale Troll: You haters just make their family stronger and more hungry for Applebee’s.

Immaturity Troll: You bad people shouldn’t judge people you don’t know. That’s so immature and whatnot.

Crazy Troll: Sarah Palin is an angel and she will smite you when she becomes president.

And then a quick look into the lives of gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are just mean girls of another color.

Hey troll, suck on this! LOL. Hey Baldy! LOL.

My opinions are very important. Anybody who disagrees with me is a troll. Anybody who doesn’t like my mean “banter” is a troll. Anybody who doesn’t like my tone is a troll. LOL. I am smart and funny. Get lost trolls! Don’t question my take on everything or I’ll have to tell you to ignore me after I call you names. LOL.

Junior gatekeeper hard at work.

Junior Gatekeeper:  You’re stupid and play with dolls. I’m rubber you’re glue. Na na you’re ugly.

Junior gatekeeper is the kind of bully who hides behind the popular mean girl.

Behind the Scenes:

Perils Cat wants to help with the set.

Too neat. Let me rearrange a little.

Props are tasty.

Troll hair is yummy.

Okay, I’m done helping you. Carry on.

Update: I closed the comments for this post because I’ve reached the point with this issue that all comments have been commented on, all comments about comments have been commented on in other comment sections, all commenters have commented about other commenters, and the comments about comments made by commenters have been commented on in a commenty way by many commenters. And, of course, trolls don’t see the humor in closing the comment section in a post about trolls who live in comment sections. Ah well, more laughs for me.

Voice on phone: Yes for staying home with your family.

Sarah: My flippin’ family? They bought that crap about stayin’ home with these ungrateful snots who want all my money? Giving me an award for not running for a flippin’ crappy job that I’m too good for and didn’t want and wasn’t planning to go for anyway because Obama Hussein probably trashed the White House anyway, knowin’ that cow of a wife of his, there, pretendin’ she can run so I’m gettin’ an award for quittin’ after pretendin’ to want the job so that those GOP dolts, there in the beltway, those wimpy ones, bein’ jealous of me and Obama, would be vetting themselves and learnin’ how to have a still spine?

Voice on phone: Yup.

Sarah: God I’m good. I need to not run for president next time too.

Sarah: I think I’ll wear my leopard jacket for the award. PIPER!! Stop scrubbing the studio bathroom and pack my spare wigs! And my leopard coat! And my Spanx! Those whiny GOPers at CPAC will be so jealous.

We’ve noticed lately that Paul is definitely a ladies’ man. He likes the babes and is not shy about pursuing them. So it comes as no surprise that he invited the entire sorority, Phi Beta Cutie, over to his place for food, football, and fun. And yeah, he invited a few of his guy buddies too. Let the wild rumpus begin!

The party is in full swing at Paul’s place.

Paul’s hot tub is popular.

The game is starting.

Paul’s gun and bell in the corner. Ring ring!! Blam blam!! And there is his guitar. Strum strum!!

Ouija board for later.

Food, friends, and fun. (oh wait…that was supposed to be faith, family, and freedom. oops.)

KO explains something to blonde barbie and angry gingerbread man.

Paul’s dog Spot is keeping an eye on the food.

Paul’s tanning bed is popular with the ladies.

So is Paul.

Spot guards more food.

Anonymous loves football.

Angry gingerbread man argues with alien.

The ladies ignore angry gingerbread man.

Spot continues to guard the food.

Everybody seems to be having a great time.

Tanning lady is cooked enough and wants to watch the game.

Redhead is popular.

It must be almost halftime. Spot is hoping for lunch.

The ladies continue to ignore angry gingerbread man.

Grayhair likes Redhead. (Or maybe Anonymous)

Paul is having a blast.

Spot is still hoping for lunch.

Tanning lady watches Tom Brady.

Spot gets his lunch.

And Spot rejoices. Much rejoicing.

Behind the scenes:

I take a step back so you can see the entire table.

Here it is at the beginning.

Ring ring!! Blam blam!!

Perils Cat spots the feather grass.

Perils Cat chews on feather grass, sending wine glasses flying.

Ya know these last coupla days blah blah establishment blah blah media blah blah crucify blah blah rewrite history blah blah…

The main thing THE MAIN THING blah blah Obama blah blah…

Blah blah process of vetting needs to continue blah blah…

No sudden and relentless desire blah blah…

Allow that vetting to continue blah blah such negativity such deception blah blah…

Blah blah and the politics of personal destruction blah blah keeps good people blah blah…

What is this that is fair to the voters blah blah pathetic sick unfair blah blah…

Blah blah not wave a white flag blah blah go along to get along blah blah…

We wanna see a fighter out there blah blah Obama blah blah does not understand the foundation blah blah…

We wanna see somebody stick it to him blah blah…

Willing and able blah blah…

I’m up here in Alaska, runnin’ businesses and raisin’ children blah blah…

blah blah under Mitch Daniels blah blah we have what we have blah blah white flag blah blah people like me blah blah pro-growth blah blah…

That rogue warrior maverick blah blah…

Pro-growth agenda blah blah time-tested blah blah gettin’ government off our back blah blah democrats don’t blah blah they’re the ones blah blah…