Those Wacky Palinizers at Fox

Who are Sarah’s favorite go-to Palinstream Media buddies? Why, Greta and Sean of course! When Sarah needs to rant in person instead of through her ghostwriter, she goes straight to her softball team at Fox.

Greta likes to ask the “tough” questions, about Trig and Tawd and sundry scandals. But we can count on Greta to accept whatever Sarah says, so it is just another setup for Sarah to go off on the lsm and pajama-clad bloggers, not to mention left-wing anti-American liberals, people telling her to shut up, and pretty much the entire world. Greta nods and beams while Sarah rants.

When Sarah really wants easy questions, she goes straight to Softball Sean, her most beloved talking head. Sean tosses her the gentlest of pitches, all in that squeaky, little-boy voice that makes you wonder if a dog bit his balls when he was a kid.

I haven’t bothered to bring BillO in on this lovefest because we all know that Sarah doesn’t like him. He is a total meany. He’s always interrupting her and correcting her. VERY annoying. Bad BillO!

Tonight we have one of our favorite guests, former governor Sarah Palin. Governor Palin, always a pleasure to have you here.

Thank you, Greta. It’s always nice, compared to, you know, the lamestream media, to be welcomed to this place here, with you, who is not lamestream, so that I can get my message out to these fine Americans, God bless our military, and refudiate those corrupt bastards with no cojones who say my Tawd is a pimp, and, I have to tell you, the left hasn’t seen Tawd without his shirt on or they would say dang, he’s the rill dill,  but they spread these lies, you know they could just ask Tawd and that would be great but these bloggers just keep makin’ stuff up that gets me all blood libely.

Governor Palin, I totally agree with you that Tawd is dang material. Do you plan to announce a run for the presidency?

Well Greta, I’ve been prayin’ and brayin’ about that, because, as you know, there isn’t a voice out there for those rill Americans who don’t want me to sit down and shut up, and Ronald Reagan, bless his heart, called me from heaven and said, “Sarah, we need you,” and my gutteral instinct tells me that Ronald Reagan was the smartest person ever, in, um, the world and everywhere, and my commonsense conservatism, because I’m not a victim like those left-wing anti-Trig women, that, well, you see, also, I will be there if there aren’t Republicans with cojones because Obama wants to transform us into victims and whiny babies and they want to abort all our Trigs.

Thank you, Governor Palin. Great to see you again.

Thank you, Greta! I’m sending you some patriotic Spudnuts since I used up all of my daddy’s moose for that chili I made had Piper make.

Good Evening! Tonight we have with us former Governor Sarah Palin. Governor Palin! Welcome back!

Thank you so much for having me here, Sean.

Governor, the left has been attacking you nonstop since that congresswoman was shot. Do you think that is fair?

Well Sean, the lamestream media only knows how to attack, just like those tiny actresses and that fat guy who always blames conservatives for everything. You and I, Sean, we know, here in rill America, that the left is all about being victims, and really mean too, also, always makin’ stuff up and attacking my children. They don’t care that Bristol is SUCH a hard workin’ mom, bless her, she’s right here off camera ready to fluff my hair, and that Piper is working on her PhD at home, and Tawd, dang, couldn’t be with that prostitute because I keep him locked in my iron pussy.

Governor, you are SO right about the lamestream media. If I weren’t here to give you a fair and balanced ass kissing, you wouldn’t have a decent place to refudiate those bad lefties.

Sean, I SO get what you mean. I will NOT sit down and shut up. Wanna see my Wonderbra?

 

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6 responses to “Those Wacky Palinizers at Fox

  1. You are THE BEST!

  2. Oh my goodness, you have tone and word usage just perfect.

  3. LOVE the talking head!

  4. Reblogged this on The Perils of Plastic and commented:

    It’s weird how a post I did almost 2 years ago doesn’t seem that outdated.

  5. TOO WONDERFUL (and TIMELY!)…..!!! Love the head on a pike….and $arahs’ sparse hahr…..!

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