April Fools

The tubes have been abuzz about the upcoming “announcement” by Sarah on Boob and Mork in the Morning. Everybody in Alaska knows Boob and Mork. They are those two retarded 10-year-olds who have their own radio show. They are Sarah’s favorite go-to guys when she wants to let her hair down and be oh-so-cool. The three of them happily snark  their little hearts out, freely bashing cancer victims, liberals, bloggers, and anybody else who doesn’t think they are totally awesome. Cooing happily to each other, fluffing egos, patting virtual asses, the Three Stooges grasp greedily at their 20 minutes of fame (15 minutes is not enough for fame whores). In the past, the guys have both had their heads under Sarah’s skirt, lapping her brown eye and licking her boots, in their own twisted fantasies of course, since it is hard to plaster their drooling lips on Sarah’s ass through the phone lines.

Sarah, of course, really thinks of them as those flippin’ morons to whom she made the mistake of granting her “announcement” platform. She wants the TITLE of POTUS so bad she flogs  herself in private (“Bad Sarah, you need to be spanked for not being POTUS yet, ooh ooh, POTUS!”). No flippin’ way is she actually going to announce something important on those retards’ show.

So, of course, it turns out that she is not even a guest on their April Fools Day show, and Sarah resurrects Stapletongue to deny the rumor that Beavis and Butthead were perpetuating.  After being called shock jocks by their former ally, the guys decide to play an April Fools joke on Sarah. They decide to call her at home from their show. They figure they’ll just wing it, depending on whether Sarah actually believes it is them and that she is on the air.


Boob:  Good morning, good morning! This is Boob and Mork in the Morning! Welcome to our special April Fools edition. Mork, how goes it, dude?

Mork:  I am full of coffee and rarin’ to go. Another fine morning in Alaska!

Boob:  Mork, as you know, we’ve had a bit of excitement around here this week.

Boob:  I’m sure some of our listeners are aware of the rumors about Sarah Palin announcing something on our show today. You wanna update our listeners, Mork?

Mork:  Sure dude.  We heard this rumor that Sarah was going to be a guest on our show today, so we thought it might be fun to just run with it and see what shook out.

Boob:  Yeah, we confirmed the rumor and added that maybe she would announce something BIG, figuring maybe Sarah would call in just to set the record straight.

Mork:  But then she went all postal on us.

Mork:  She actually sicced the Stapletongue on us!

Boob:  Yes, folks, our good buddy Sarah had her old spokesperson call us “shock jocks.” I mean, yeah, we like to mix it up here and push the envelope, but hell, ol’ fatso Burke and that fag Fagan did too.

Oops, nobody told the guys we can see them. They never wear pants during their radio show. Don’t you love being the omnipresent viewer?

Mork:  I think we should prank Sarah.

Boob:  I agree. I’m feeling a little kicked around by our girl.

Mork:  She’s been pranked on the phone before. She might not think it’s us.

Boob:  True, but that could be funny too.

Mork:  Okay, let’s do it, dude!

Boob:  Phone’s ringing….ringing….uh, Sarah?

Who the hell is this? It’s flippin’ early in the morning and I’ve been up all night!

Mork:  Hi Sarah! It’s Boob and Mork in the Morning! How are you?

What??

Boob:  It’s us, Sarah! We called to wish you a happy April Fools Day.

Are you guys for real? Is that really you? Is this that pedophile blogger?

Mork:  Yup, Sarah, it’s us.  No, not the pedophile blogger. We know things got out of hand this week, so we thought we’d call and apologize for any hassle we caused you.

You want to apologize at flippin’ 7 in the morning? Wait..what? Am I on the air?

Boob:  Yup.

of all the….How ARE you boys? You were naughty this week. No big dill, but still, it’s not like I’m not havin’ lots of challenges dilling with the sloppiness of the lamestream media to then have you boys here also too makin’ things up.

Mork:  Well you did promise to announce on our show and it’s been looking like you might run for president. Is that true?

Oh for….People keep askin’ me this right in the middle of me doin’ my hard work of figurin’ out Libya and tryin’ to teach the lamestream media how we communications majors, havin’ learned those whowhatwherewhenwhys, do the job of communicatin’ the truth so that they don’t destroy our democracy with their lyin’ about me all the time, and these things here are showin’ me that Americans really need to embrace that pioneering spirit that we up here in Alaska have because that’s what we need to oust Gaddafi and put in somebody whose lovin’ Isreal and fearin’ us.

Both:  huh?

Ya know, I’ve been takin’ on these challenges because the guy in the White House has a limp dick and is clueless and he’s a sexist too, there also.

Boob:  So does that mean you are going to run for president, Sarah?

Weeellllll….I told you boys you would be the first to know, well second after Tawd, but I’m just too busy here, carvin’ my livelihood out of our great state of Alaska that we love, and supportin’ those troops, God bless ’em, while squirmishing with those poor excuses for journalists that are destroyin’ our great country.  And now that pedophile O’Reilly  has been lookin’ in Piper’s window so I need to put his shriveled cojones in my moose poop stew.

Mork covers his cojones.

I’ve been up all night tweeting to be settin’ that record straight that those lamestream media types there are always gettin’ wrong.

Boob:  That must keep you pretty busy.

It’s a fulltime job, let me tell ya. I’m the only one, here, in our great land that we love, who won’t sit down and shut up when the government won’t unlock our lands and secure the US from foreign oil and the Muslim Brotherhood. It’s been teachin’ me this life lesson about how I seem to be the only one, there, wonderin’, hey, where’s our leadership? Those folks in the GOP are all sheep and won’t refudiate the Obama doctrine and those death panels there, that the guy in the white house keeps pushin’ on the American People when the Will of the American People just is wantin’ those unions to go away and Gaddafi to go away, and we need to get out of NATO and stop goin’ around helpin’ folks who aren’t Christian or Israeli anyway, there.

Boob:   okaaaaay….

Well, guys, you need to stop helpin’ the lamestream media and bored bloggers attackin’ me. Bristle told me, bless her smart little heart, that you guys were just punked by those lamestream folks and that you are really okay.  Don’t be makin’ Bristle have to learn a life lesson about folks goin’ over to the bad side.

Mork:  Oh yay! A station break! Sarah, it’s been great talking with you! You give Bristle our love and we promise to be good.

Well, God bless you, boys, and don’t be callin’ here again.

Boob:  Well, Mork, I think our listeners got an earful on this fine morning.

Mork:  Yes, Boob, that was fun, I think. Still checking to make sure I have all my body parts intact. Good thing we aren’t the LSM or Bill O’Reilly.

Boob:  Well folks, this is Boob…

Mork:  And this is Mork…

Boob:  Wishing you a fun filled April Fools Day, from Boob and Mork in the Morning! Ta Ta!


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8 responses to “April Fools

  1. omfg! love this!!!!!!!!!

  2. Thanks for the laughs womanwithsardinecan! Did not know you had a blog too.

  3. I love this WWTSC! Good job, lol and thanks for the April Fools Day laugh.

  4. My first visit to your site and I enjoyed it tremendously! Thanks for the laugh. I’ll be back. 🙂

  5. too funny…great blog …

  6. I loved it! Great job, you captured the “rill $arah” and her abundance of word salad. Poor Boob and Mork, they must be feeling a little neglected by SP today and after all, this is the holiday named after $arah, what better day for her to make a big announcement?!

  7. Reblogged this on The Perils of Plastic and commented:

    I wonder what Boob and Mork think of Sarah these days.

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