The tubes have been abuzz about the upcoming “announcement” by Sarah on Boob and Mork in the Morning. Everybody in Alaska knows Boob and Mork. They are those two retarded 10-year-olds who have their own radio show. They are Sarah’s favorite go-to guys when she wants to let her hair down and be oh-so-cool. The three of them happily snark their little hearts out, freely bashing cancer victims, liberals, bloggers, and anybody else who doesn’t think they are totally awesome. Cooing happily to each other, fluffing egos, patting virtual asses, the Three Stooges grasp greedily at their 20 minutes of fame (15 minutes is not enough for fame whores). In the past, the guys have both had their heads under Sarah’s skirt, lapping her brown eye and licking her boots, in their own twisted fantasies of course, since it is hard to plaster their drooling lips on Sarah’s ass through the phone lines.
Sarah, of course, really thinks of them as those flippin’ morons to whom she made the mistake of granting her “announcement” platform. She wants the TITLE of POTUS so bad she flogs herself in private (“Bad Sarah, you need to be spanked for not being POTUS yet, ooh ooh, POTUS!”). No flippin’ way is she actually going to announce something important on those retards’ show.
So, of course, it turns out that she is not even a guest on their April Fools Day show, and Sarah resurrects Stapletongue to deny the rumor that Beavis and Butthead were perpetuating. After being called shock jocks by their former ally, the guys decide to play an April Fools joke on Sarah. They decide to call her at home from their show. They figure they’ll just wing it, depending on whether Sarah actually believes it is them and that she is on the air.
Mork: I am full of coffee and rarin’ to go. Another fine morning in Alaska!
Boob: Yes, folks, our good buddy Sarah had her old spokesperson call us “shock jocks.” I mean, yeah, we like to mix it up here and push the envelope, but hell, ol’ fatso Burke and that fag Fagan did too.
Oops, nobody told the guys we can see them. They never wear pants during their radio show. Don’t you love being the omnipresent viewer?
of all the….How ARE you boys? You were naughty this week. No big dill, but still, it’s not like I’m not havin’ lots of challenges dilling with the sloppiness of the lamestream media to then have you boys here also too makin’ things up.
Oh for….People keep askin’ me this right in the middle of me doin’ my hard work of figurin’ out Libya and tryin’ to teach the lamestream media how we communications majors, havin’ learned those whowhatwherewhenwhys, do the job of communicatin’ the truth so that they don’t destroy our democracy with their lyin’ about me all the time, and these things here are showin’ me that Americans really need to embrace that pioneering spirit that we up here in Alaska have because that’s what we need to oust Gaddafi and put in somebody whose lovin’ Isreal and fearin’ us.
Weeellllll….I told you boys you would be the first to know, well second after Tawd, but I’m just too busy here, carvin’ my livelihood out of our great state of Alaska that we love, and supportin’ those troops, God bless ’em, while squirmishing with those poor excuses for journalists that are destroyin’ our great country. And now that pedophile O’Reilly has been lookin’ in Piper’s window so I need to put his shriveled cojones in my moose poop stew.
It’s a fulltime job, let me tell ya. I’m the only one, here, in our great land that we love, who won’t sit down and shut up when the government won’t unlock our lands and secure the US from foreign oil and the Muslim Brotherhood. It’s been teachin’ me this life lesson about how I seem to be the only one, there, wonderin’, hey, where’s our leadership? Those folks in the GOP are all sheep and won’t refudiate the Obama doctrine and those death panels there, that the guy in the white house keeps pushin’ on the American People when the Will of the American People just is wantin’ those unions to go away and Gaddafi to go away, and we need to get out of NATO and stop goin’ around helpin’ folks who aren’t Christian or Israeli anyway, there.
Well, guys, you need to stop helpin’ the lamestream media and bored bloggers attackin’ me. Bristle told me, bless her smart little heart, that you guys were just punked by those lamestream folks and that you are really okay. Don’t be makin’ Bristle have to learn a life lesson about folks goin’ over to the bad side.
Mork: Yes, Boob, that was fun, I think. Still checking to make sure I have all my body parts intact. Good thing we aren’t the LSM or Bill O’Reilly.
Mork: And this is Mork…
Boob: Wishing you a fun filled April Fools Day, from Boob and Mork in the Morning! Ta Ta!