What a Friend We Have in Cheeses

The good people of Wisconsin have been making us proud the last couple of months, standing up for worker rights that are the foundation values of our great country. They have persevered in the face of deceit, illegal legislation, Koch Brothers manipulations, the sleaziest governor in the Midwest, bad weather, election setbacks, biased media coverage, outright lies by Faux News, layoff notices, and all sorts of assholery, skullduggery, and eyerollery. They have stood tall and strong, no matter what has been thrown at them.

Then the TeaBag Koch Party decides to roll out their usual pathetic Tax Day rally, but they decide to pay for their “heavy hitters” to come to town. Can you say BACKFIRE? Bringing the Whore of BabbleOn and BrightButt to town seemed like a great idea when they talked it over amongst themselves. But then they always underestimate the opposition. Boy did they ever.

Koch Whore Paylin rolled into town thinking she was going to wow the crowds and maybe even declare her candidacy for President.  She never got the chance. Her tiny group of bussed-in racists were overwhelmingly outnumbered by the actual citizens of Wisconsin. Surrounded and drowned out by pro-Wisconsin patriots, all Miss QuittyPants could do was screech.

“Screech! Squawk! Patriots! Screech!”

“Screech Babble thugs screech!!”

Koch Tool Company.

RacistsRUs.

The citizens of Wisconsin turn their backs on the Whore of BabbleOn.

“We can’t HEAR you, Liar!”

Sarah tries to screech over the noise of the protesters.

“Squawk! Reload! Screech! Patriots! BlahBlahSquawkleScreech!”

“Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecccchhhh!!!!!”

“We are the World! We are the Workers! We are the ones who make the world a better place!”

“Squawk! Libruls! Limp Dicks! Screech!”

“I will SQUAWK save SCREECH you GOBBLE GOBBLE GACK!”

“What is that godawful caterwauling behind us?”

OMG! Some CheeseHead Patriots climbed on the roof of the Capitol Building with a vat of melted cheddar!

Nailed the bitch!

“Aaaaack! Gaaaaack! My hair! Screech! Save me!”

Score one for the CheeseHead Patriots!

Keep it coming!

“Help help squawk squawk!”

“gurgle mmftt!”

“mfftmbtmackgackgurgle!”

“Woohoo! CheeseHeads Unite!”

And the citizens of Wisconsin rejoice!

“hellllp….gurgle!”

“I hate you all!”

More cheese on the tools too.

“Go cheese go! Go cheese go!”

Much rejoicing!

Plant the flag! This is OUR state, bitch!”

The tools run for their lives.

The citizens rush the stage!

“Get her! Give us liberty and cheese!”

Stampede to the stage!

They push over the podium!

Down goes the wicked witch!

Smashed cheese sandwich!

And the citizens rejoice again!

The Queen of Screech is melting!

“I’m melting!”

The citizens leave her to gasp her last cheesy breath. The city workers who were supposed to clean up after the rally went home because they got layoff notices that morning from the Governor.

Wicked Witch takes one last cheddaring breath.

One small step for Workerkind. One giant leap for the great Quesadilla in the sky.

What a friend we have in cheeses.

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15 responses to “What a Friend We Have in Cheeses

  1. Glad to see you putting QP in her place!
    WI has done all of us proud and I am thrilled they are not stopping!

  2. Ok, this made me laugh like hell. Thanks for the creativity!

  3. This is genius.
    thanks so much for the laugh
    I’m linking this to my blog 🙂

  4. That was worth the wait. Bravo!

  5. What a friend we have in CHEESES? lol ha ha ha. Laughed my head off.

  6. Awesome. Simply awesome. And for those of you who haven’t seen the trolls, check out that awesome cat. Devilish, I tell you, just devilish.

  7. Loved this-I understand easy cheese now! I found myself cheering on the crowd!

  8. You are lining up a publisher I trust. I would pre-order copies now. These are wickedly priceless. 🙂

  9. p.s. I don’t know what your traffic is like, so I forwarded this to Andrew Sullivan. Your talents must be shared more widely. Or maybe you should simply send a link straight to Lake Lucille, Wasilla. They’d probably want to buy you out!

    • Thank you. It is always fun and flattering when I pick up more viewers. It typically happens when one of you spreads the word. I love to make people laugh. I know it is how I keep from going to Wasilla and ripping Sarah’s eyebrows off.

  10. Brilliant. Thanks for the exceedingly kind words about what’s been happening here in Madison as well as throughout Wisconsin. It’s been frustrating, inspiring, strenuous, and invigorating. Our motto (among many) is “one day longer” – and that’s what we’ll do. We’ll march, we’ll chant, and we’ll fight (peacefully, of course) for as long as we need to in order to win. The state of Wisconsin will not lose it’s long-standing position as a labor/worker-centric state. Also, many thanks for this blog, in general. As a country, we should be ashamed that this woman has overstayed her 15 minutes of fame.

    • I am SO proud of what you Wisconsinites are doing. You are the heroes and heroines of many citizens across our country. My husband is a union steward in California, and the lovely people of Wisconsin have energized him and kept him from getting too depressed about our sad state of affairs for public employees in our state. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  11. Brilliant and Hugely Humorous! Thanks to FB friends who posted the link to this very “Friend-in-Cheeses” segment. Say, do you have a gig yet at some independent version of PIXAR or some other worthy counter-culture-Hollywood emplacement? You should, you know. But until then, I’m subscribing to your blog! Meanwhile, let me thousandth all those sentiments about those growing numbers of sturdy Wisconsinites who refuse to buy NewSpeak and anti-worker/anti-humane bias. It’s time to resurrect democracy, common sense and compassion in the formerly thriving worker-farmer-middleclass enclave of Wisconsin. Recount the WI Supreme Court votes! (What does the Waukesha County Clerk need to confess about all those extra pro-TeaPartyJustice ballots that magically appeared?!) Run, don’t Walk: Recall the bought-and-paid-for Gov Walker and his yesss-men-women in the WI Legislature!

  12. This is the funniest damn thing I’ve seen on the Quitter!

    Hysterically hilarious!

  13. Reblogged this on The Perils of Plastic and commented:

    Reblogging this episode in honor of the workers of Michigan.

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