Wendy: Hello, and welcome to Eduardos! I’m Wendy and I’ll be your server today.
Wendy: In addition to the lunch menu your hostess left with you, we have two specials today. We have a seafood and mango ceviche served on a bed of butter lettuce, and a grilled sea bass with fruit salsa. Do you need more time to decide?
Anonymous Blonde: I’ll have the ceviche special, thank you. It sounds delicious.
Wendy: I think it is one of the chef’s best specials. He makes it a lot because people request it. I hope you enjoy it.
Sarah: Give me the nick-swah salad and another diet Dr. Pepper.
Wendy: Very good. I’ll have your drink refill right out.
Wendy: Enjoy our lovely patio view while the chef prepares your meal.
Sarah: Snooty waitress.
Anonymous Blonde: The food sounds good.
Sarah: We’ll see.
Wendy: Here is your lunch. Is there anything else I can get you?
Anonymous Blonde: It looks great. I have everything I need, thanks.
Sarah: I’ll need another diet Dr. Pepper pretty soon.
Wendy: I’ll bring another refill shortly. Enjoy your lunch, ladies.
Sarah: This isn’t a nick-swah salad! Denny’s makes a one better. Where is that waitress?
Wendy: Is something wrong with the salad?
Sarah: Yes, this is not a nick-swah salad. It’s some sort of hotty totty mess. Take it back. I’d like some chicken fingers instead. I assume your hotty totty chef can make lowly chicken fingers?
Wendy: I’m sorry the nee-swahz salad isn’t to your liking. I will take it back and have the chef make you some chicken fingers.
Sarah: You’d think a fancy place like this could get a salad right.
Wendy: We do our best. I’ll have your drink refill right out and the chicken fingers shouldn’t take long.
Sarah: Tell the cook to throw on some french fries too.
Wendy: I will do that. Can I get you ladies anything else?
Sarah: No, just hurry up because I’m starving.
Sarah: That waitress is a snooty bitch.
Anonymous Blonde: Don’t you think you are being kind of hard on her?
Sarah: No! These people, there, here, all seem to have their noses in the air. I guess waiting on rich people makes you some kind of hotty totty servant.
Wendy: Here are your chicken fingers and fries, with another drink refill. I hope they are to your liking. Just let me know if they aren’t, or if you need anything else.
Sarah: Now the bitch is brown-nosing for a tip. Fat chance.
Sarah: These people have such a sense of entitlement also. I waitressed once, there, in Alaska, for a week, and flippin’ Piper could do it.
Sarah: I’ve had better chicken fingers at Denny’s. These look like they belong in some fancy schmancy Japanese restaurant. And it’s those lame fries with the peels on.
Sarah: A penny will steam her.
Anonymous Blonde: I thought the ceviche was great.
Sarah: Well all I got was a snooty waitress and some crappy fries.
Sarah: Let’s get the hell out of this hotty totty dump.
Wendy: Hmmm…no surprise there.
Wendy: Such a charming woman. Not.
Wendy: If she comes here again somebody else can serve her.
Wendy: Oh nice! The other lady was much nicer.
Wendy: I’ll bet this lady doesn’t come here again with THAT woman.
Wendy: I’m glad that most of my customers are nice. I should tell somebody about Nick-swah Palin. She deserves to be outed.