On the Record with Greta

Once again, Sarah goes to her semi-favorite Fox News pundit to spew about how mean everybody has been to her. Greta was slightly mean to her last time too, but Sarah will let that slide (for the moment, warming up the bus), because Sean The Adoring is busy, and Sarah needs to spew.

Governor! Great to see you. How was the One Nation Tour?

Well, Greta, also, good to see you too, because, after all, those bus tours that we do, makin’ America great, by showin’ our good Americans what they don’t know about our great history, bless their hearts. We had a great time, thanks for askin’ bless your heart, and Piper, bless her little bratty heart, she was out there, learnin’ and blockin’.

Governor Palin, I know there was some controversy about your Paul Revere history…

Well, Greta, being as those lamestream media folks are out there, with their gotcha questions and chasin’ our bus, well, we tried to tell ’em, those lamestream media people, about how Paul Revere was the first Tea Party guy, ringin’ those bells and lettin’ folks know that, out there in our great country, before it was a country, we were hangin’ onto our guns, like good, no great, Americans, before we were Americans, that, well, we were hangin’ onto those guns. And Paul Revere….I know my American history…well, Paul Revere, he went from town to town, ringin’ and blammin’, tellin’ those British that we Americans weren’t gonna give up those guns, there…Well, that lamestream media, they are just lookin’ for those soundbites, those gotchas…and, well, we know our history.

Yes, um, well, Governor, the big news this week is that your state of Alaska is finally releasing some emails that were requested back when you were running for vice president.

Greta, those emails were all written by a disloyal former employee who had a tire tread tattoo…We all know about those tattoo types. Disgruntled and disloyal, just tattooing all over the place. But my administration was all about transparency. Those emails, bless their little lyin’ hearts, they just show how I was workin’ to progress the great state of Arizona…um, I mean Alaska, uh, and those, there, also, they are lies, which, there, when I wrote them…I mean, when that disloyal employee wrote them, they are all about the opposition operatives who took over the great state of Alaska, there.

Well, Governor, there appear to be quite a few emails that you supposedly sent, some of which show that, among other things, you had other people write glowing letters to the local newspapers, about you.

Well, Greta, that disloyal employee, who we all know needs more tire treads, well he was probably the one who wrote all those letters, there, also, because he thought I was hot, but also because, also, I was the energy expert who needed, out there, in the rest of America, to be shown to be, there, the expert, me, and he tried to say that, but those lamestream media people, who he talked to, said he said that he said that. well. also.

Governor, it looks like several websites will be going through those emails this week. What is your take on that?

Greta, I’m just wonderin’ and fumin’ about why Obama having lunch with Margaret Thatcher isn’t in the news. He’s just elbowin’ his way in, knowin’ that I’ve been needin’ to talk to that lady, but he’s just elbowin’ all around, there, and also, Michelle, with her carrot sticks, feedin’ em to the Iron Lady.

Well, Governor, I’m rooting for you to get an audience with Prime Minister Thatcher.

Greta, I’m thinkin’ that me headin’ for the starvin’ babies, there in DerFur, that’s a good thing, with cookies and toys, and that ought to say, hey, Iron Lady! I am important! And then, there, on that Sudan trip, with the skinny people who need cookies, that she won’t be readin’ those emails, those out of context emails.

I’m sure that Prime Minister Thatcher won’t be reading your emails, Governor.

And that’s a good thing, there, Greta, because we all know that rill Americans don’t care about emails. They would rather be readin’ my Facebook page and my gutteral twits.

Well, Governor, let’s step past the emails for now and talk about your upcoming plans. You’ve hinted that you might join the presidential race if your family is behind you and that door opens.  How are you feeling about that race?

Well, Greta, people keep askin’  me about that, about that race, that race against Obama, and well, Greta, I keep tellin’ em that we need somebody good to speak up against Obama, and Greta, it’s not lookin’ good right now for our folks. They don’t have that voice there, that voice in Washington, standin’ up for rill Americans, with their needin’ jobs and oil, and gmo corn. We rilly need to be plantin’ that corn, there, where liberal corn used to grow, makin’ it a better corn world, and supporting small business like Monsanto, there, and sendin’ email.

Governor, I heard that you won’t be attending any debates in the near future. Is that true?

Greta, those debates, those lamestream debates, those are for people with titles. I’m titleless and don’t need debates. There.

Governor, if you decide to join the race, will not attending the early debates hurt your chances?

Well, Greta, those debates are just limp old men who don’t stand a chance against me. Michelle, a friend of mine, well, she doesn’t have enough shoes.

Shoes are important.

Yes they are. You see, Greta, you understand. About shoes, about buses. And about how Bristle’s book tour is publicity for me and my next book: President by the Skin of My Teeth.

Governor, I’m paid to know about these things.

Greta, if more of that lamestream media, those operatives with liberal agendas, working for opposition operatives, well, if they knew about buses, and the First Amendment that our military put into law, well they, there, would stop fussin’ and makin’ up emails about me.

Governor, I don’t think the media wrote those emails.

Well, Greta, you may think so, there, not. But opposition researchers were writin’ emails all over the place, sayin’ stuff about my family.

Well Governor, we are out of time and will have to continue this conversation another time. Thank you as always.

Good to see you too, Greta, bless your Foxy heart.

Well, you heard it first here, on the record with Greta. Governor Palin may be many things, but we will never accuse her of being articulate.

4 responses to “On the Record with Greta

  1. Great work on this one.

  2. Priceless!

  3. Humor is one of the best medicines. Please keep it coming. Thanks.

  4. Greta’s got the best final word there ever!

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