Monthly Archives: December 2011

The Bear

Sarah: Stop stop! I’m the bear! I’m the bear! You can’t eat me! Help!

Rill Bear 1: You don’t smell like a bear.

Rill Bear 2: You don’t look like a bear.

Rill Bear 1: Lady, I’m a bear, my buddy here is a bear. My Aunt Margaret is a bear. You….not a bear.

Sarah: But…but….I’m STRONGER than a bear! I have a still spine!

Rill Bear 2: Lady, these bear teeth of mine were made just for snapping still spines.

Sarah: But…but….I’m a commonsense conservative, just like you!

Sarah: You have too much commonsense to eat me!

Rill Bear 1: Lady, if you had any common sense, you would have stopped running around pretending you are a bear a long time ago.

Rill Bear 2: We bears don’t appreciate scrawny wannabees moving in on our territory.

Sarah: Who are you calling scrawny! I have tight abs, dang it! Help help!

Sarah: Maybe you don’t even exist! How do I know there ARE bears in the woods?

Rill Bear 1: Lady, you want to touch my fangs before I eat you? And we aren’t in the woods, we are in your yard.

Sarah: Tawd! Tawd! Help! Aaaaccckkkk!

Todd, from the driveway: Sorry Juicy, I’m heading out to film my reality show. Ask Piper. Oh, never mind, she’s in LA babysitting. Good luck! Gotta run!

Rill Bear 1: Snack time!

Rill Bear 1: There wasn’t anything juicy about that bite. Ugh. Left a bad taste in my mouth. And gristle in my teeth. Must be those abs. You got any beer to wash this shit down?

Rill Bear 2: Dude. You don’t share the crappy snack but you want some of my beer?

Life in the Snow Lane

Happy New Year from Calvin and Hobbs!

Spice cookies

 

 

Happy Festsolsticevus!

The sun will come out tomorrow if you plant it in your yard. Oh, and I made my circle using magnetic North, not True North. I’m a geologist.

Perils Cat enjoys the sun.

You talkin’ to me?

North.

South.

East.

West.

It was this big…

West Rock.

East Rock.

Sun inside my version of a medicine circle.

Perils Cat continues to enjoy the sun.

West Rock.

A druid perhaps?

West from above.

Paul on the hot seat.

Circle of Life.

Alien or druid?

The North Side.

The Northern Continent.

Paul rocks out on the sun.

Perils Cat looks on.

Holiday office party.

Would you like some eggnog?

I do a lot of ring ring blam blam.

Hey…wanna help with the ring ring blam blam? I have a convertible…

Ding fries are done

Happy Solstice and whatever holidays float your boat!

Sanity break from the sanity project

Yesterday I cleaned my studio and packed away my dolls. It’s time for a long break from the dolls, and an even longer break from Sarah. As I mentioned before, my focus will be switching to life in PlasticLand. A person can only endure so much Sarah Palin in a lifetime, and I am already well over my limit. There are still a few Palin themes I plan to pursue in the coming months, and if Sarah decides to be an asshole in the coming election then I will have to deal with her, but I yearn for the quiet waters and calm skies of PlasticLand, where there is no religion, no politics, no dickwads, no  asshats.  That is where this blog is headed. Road trips, camping, hot springs, meadows. And a ton of props that have been washed clean of Palin stink. I will keep the name and the archives, and I hope to add more to the other pages over time, with things like Sarah’s fashion faux pas.  I think having a humor archive of Sarah Palin’s dubious contributions to this world is a good thing, and hopefully somewhat timeless, a strange period in history, caught in pictures. But that’s where Sarah belongs, on a shelf, serving as a lesson to thinking people. It’s time for the real Sarah to go away, shut that fucking trashy mouth of hers, and age without a single drop of grace.

And on that note, I wish you all a Palin-free new year. May your lives be filled with laughter and love, real strength, and no Applebees.

Behind the scenes at A Christmas Story

Nativity scenes were part of Christmas during my childhood. I was quite fond of them, not for any religious reason, but because they reminded me of dioramas. I LOVE dioramas. I have made many shadowbox dioramas out of old shoe boxes. I love to go to natural history museums because they have dioramas.

I think much of the pleasure I get from building these little sets comes from that old love of dioramas. This “Nativity Scene” I am creating is really just a diorama displaying my rather odd sense of humor within a loose framework of the “birth of the messiah” story.

An actual photo of the Judean Hills.  Somewhere south of Bethlehem if I remember correctly.

I had to cut up lots of straw.

I used the barn from my turkey pardon post. I tried to give it a rustic look like a barn built onto the front of a grotto.

Cardboard and duct tape.

I like cardboard and duct tape.

I used my duracell flashlight for interior barn lighting.

Landscaping.

The grotto barn is in place.

Manger is made.

Rocks, fence, straw. Check, check, and check.

Ready for more props.

The studio with some of the main props.

My studio is a mess.

Hey look, it’s the cooler! In the final version, the cooler isn’t so obvious. It is filled with water bottles for the kids, near the food table. You pretty much have to look for it.

Oops. Blood still on the burger stand from the turkey shoot.

Checking the lights.

A side view.

Gathering some characters.

The Purchasing Department got me a fake campfire.

And this cool tent.

What’s a picnic without some dogs running around?

Working on lighting for the barn. This was before I got the duracell flashlight set up.

These three were around for the entire setup.

Farm animals, and the first little boy barbie I tried. He was too big so I found a different one.

Excess stuff that was in the way, plus studio supplies (duct tape, scissors, beer, sharpies).

I love the expression on this dog’s face.

Originally I wasn’t sure whether I would have kids at the party, which is why you can see booze on the ground by the cooler in some of the prep shots.

Ultimately, I decided that the party was a family affair, so the kids got to go.

The alien and his space ship were going to show up, but I just couldn’t squeeze any more objects into the scene. Sorry dude.

Booze next to cooler. Gotta get that picked up before the kids arrive.

That is one faithful dog. Faithful to food that is.

I needed help from Perils Cat. She came a’runnin’ when I called.

Oh great. Whose party is this?

Trying to figure out which kid to use for the newborn.

The sign for the burger stand is ready to go up.

It was a major job to get all of these people dressed.

I just randomly stuck them in the scene as I finished dressing them.

I wasn’t sure how many I could squeeze in. The spaceship didn’t make the final cut. Neither did the snowmachine.

My husband stopped by for a look. What is that on the roof of the burger stand?

Perils Cat observed from above.

And then went back to chewing on her toenails.

She is above the fray.

Still not happy with my barn lighting. I need to work on that.

Hey, it’s the blue hat!

The booze has moved to the table, the cooler is wandering around, and the dogs remain faithful to the food.

I finally get the set the way I like it.

Lighting in the right place.

The cast is ready to go.

The burger sign is up, and the booze finally made it over to the burger stand.

I’m happy with my barn lighting.

Perils Cat does an inspection in the middle of filming.

And then she’s off to greener pastures.

You don’t need me anymore, right?

I really really didn’t mean to make Paul’s new bell look like a big penis.

But what the heck, he deserves a big penis. And the Purchasing Department deserves a round of applause for the great poem about Paul and the Blue Hat, which many of you saw in the comment section of a previous post. Paul and the Blue Hat sounds a little like Charles and the Purple Crayon. Maybe Paul and the Blue Hat can have other adventures. Paul and the Blue Hat Go to Godzilla Island. Paul and the Blue Hat’s Excellent Adventure. Paul and the Blue Hat Hear a Who.

After a grueling day of filming, the cast finishes off the booze and parties like there is no tomorrow.

Rin Tin Tin looks on as the cast gets silly.

If I were a rich man…