The Bear

Sarah: Stop stop! I’m the bear! I’m the bear! You can’t eat me! Help!

Rill Bear 1: You don’t smell like a bear.

Rill Bear 2: You don’t look like a bear.

Rill Bear 1: Lady, I’m a bear, my buddy here is a bear. My Aunt Margaret is a bear. You….not a bear.

Sarah: But…but….I’m STRONGER than a bear! I have a still spine!

Rill Bear 2: Lady, these bear teeth of mine were made just for snapping still spines.

Sarah: But…but….I’m a commonsense conservative, just like you!

Sarah: You have too much commonsense to eat me!

Rill Bear 1: Lady, if you had any common sense, you would have stopped running around pretending you are a bear a long time ago.

Rill Bear 2: We bears don’t appreciate scrawny wannabees moving in on our territory.

Sarah: Who are you calling scrawny! I have tight abs, dang it! Help help!

Sarah: Maybe you don’t even exist! How do I know there ARE bears in the woods?

Rill Bear 1: Lady, you want to touch my fangs before I eat you? And we aren’t in the woods, we are in your yard.

Sarah: Tawd! Tawd! Help! Aaaaccckkkk!

Todd, from the driveway: Sorry Juicy, I’m heading out to film my reality show. Ask Piper. Oh, never mind, she’s in LA babysitting. Good luck! Gotta run!

Rill Bear 1: Snack time!

Rill Bear 1: There wasn’t anything juicy about that bite. Ugh. Left a bad taste in my mouth. And gristle in my teeth. Must be those abs. You got any beer to wash this shit down?

Rill Bear 2: Dude. You don’t share the crappy snack but you want some of my beer?

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15 responses to “The Bear

  1. Ahhh….. so cute. BumpitLocks and the 2 Bears, with a similar not so happy ending for the ‘Once upon a time’ girl. Nice job !

  2. Come on bear, bite her head off!

  3. Oh I know he bit her head off but I missed the gore that usually accompanies head severings.

  4. LOL. It’s certainly a bad ending for Bumpit, and I pity the bear, but, all in all, a very satisfying conclusion.

  5. POP: Wow – that was the best Xmas Show ever!
    A reverse Nativity scene.
    With any luck, this was just a dress rehearsal for the rill thing, if Newt Ginger-itch doesn’t eat her first. As his next wife. .

  6. LOL as usual!

  7. hee hee heee!

  8. that doll looks so life-like! how’d you do that?

  9. Great work! So enjoyable in a gruesome kind of way. Brava!

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