Twit

tap tap tap tap tappity tap tap tap

tappity tap tap tappity tappity tap tap tap

Sarah Palin@SarahPalinUSA:

Good work, media. My ’07 “divorce” email was a joke mocking you for making up divorce rumors. Keep up the, er, credibility-building efforts!

Sarah: That’ll fix ’em!

Voice of “friend” who has known Sarah a long time and therefore loves her bunches, unlike those immature haters who don’t know her. The “friend” is doing her monthly stamp-licking because she loves Sarah and loves Sarah’s PAC money: Uh…Sarah…there wasn’t really any media around in 2007,  unless you count that Ear lady at ADN. Those divorce rumors in 2007 were coming from your neighbors and the spa people, mostly. And that bitch at the coffee shop.

Sarah: Did that Ear lady say something about me and Tawd? Did we threaten her? 2007 was ages ago and I’ve had to threaten all those other people, bein’ proactive and whatnot, there, and, ya know, they were attacking me and spreadin’ rumors all over about this and that stuff, also.

Voice of “friend”:  I don’t remember, but if you keep poking the media about divorce rumors they are going to notice that you are blaming them for rumors that happened before they were swarming all over the place.

Sarah: Being famous like me before that McCain crap, those Obama operatives, with their Alinsky notes, they were here back then, you betcha, sneakin’ around, knowin’ that I was gonna get tapped and wouldn’t blink, they were sneakin’, there, about this, and got those neighbors and haters to say stuff about me and Tawd, you betcha, way back then, and it was creepy, just sayin’.

Sarah: I know they did that, bein’ that they wanted to do frivilous ethics charges, which they made these Alaskans, there, do for them, and Tawd, well they probably followed him around and made up stuff. It was creepy I’ll bet, you betcha.

Voice of “friend”: That may well be, but I’m just saying that if you are thinking about running for anything, you don’t want the media back up here snooping around about divorce rumors in 2007.

Sarah: Unflippin’believable for them to do that. They are all Obama operatives.

Voice of “friend”: Just cool it with the twittermocking and maybe they won’t notice the dates.

Sarah: I’ve got ’em so pussy-whipped they will never get cojones to be sneakin’ around here makin’ up rumors before I even get tapped for Energy Secretary.

Sarah: They’re too lamestream. They won’t notice. Time for my crunchwrap.

Sarah: But you better go over to that blog and make sure they know they are wrong about this, there.

Voice of “friend”: That’s not really working out so well…

Sarah: Well keep on it! I can’t pay that creepy stalker woman anymore to do it because she keeps sending me creepy emails and hinting about me having Tawd and his buddies build her a room in the studio building. Now finish the envelopes before Piper gets home from her night janitor job at the spa.  I need to finish this food so I can puke before she gets here, and you are slowing me down.

 

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16 responses to “Twit

  1. As per usual, awesome, just awesome! Your props are simply the best from the polar bear rug to the taco bell food, oh and that little piggy bank that says “Alaska” (that piggy bank might be getting a little empty now, after seeing the last financials from her PAC). It must be as much fun collecting props as it is setting up the scenes! Now Sarah has some more “stuff” to put into her shopping cart if she ever decides to go “wandering” with it again.

    Thanks for the entertainment!

  2. Instant classic. This may be your all-time best. Truly. 🙂 I can’t stop laughing. A must-share.

  3. Absolutely delightful! I love your work and your incredible humor.

    (You’re the only (other) person who seems to have commented on her constant use of “there.”)

  4. WAY TO FUNNY, EVEN THE HAIR IS WONKY AND THE EYE OF COURSE
    AND GOD HELP ME SHE KINDA LOOKS LIKE ‘OL SARAH
    LOVE THE LITTLE TACO BELL PROPS
    SO PROPS TO YOU!

  5. I am rolling! The storyline is genius! And, wherever did you get the Taco Bell Props? Priceless. I am not sure I see the wonky eye, but the word salad is spot-on!

  6. Brilliantly satisfying satire.

  7. Yup, yup – – – I agree, also, too! T.hanks for making me chuckle. Always loving the cooler. I am sorry you had to dip back into Palinland. Can’t she just go away and stay away ?

  8. Thanks there, you betcha. Keep me rolling on the floor. lol

  9. I was hoping the lightning would hit her, but do have to say I LOLd at the piggy bank and howled at the Taco Bell stuff.

  10. Woo-Hoo! Taco Bell props for caribou barbie! Love it!

    And I also love the stuffed pants that you do for bristle, along with the chin of course too, also!

  11. Anybody sent this stuff to Letterman yet? Jon Stewart? Needs to be shared lots. Laughter is the best medicine as well as the final arbiter.

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