Good work, media. My ’07 “divorce” email was a joke mocking you for making up divorce rumors. Keep up the, er, credibility-building efforts!
Voice of “friend” who has known Sarah a long time and therefore loves her bunches, unlike those immature haters who don’t know her. The “friend” is doing her monthly stamp-licking because she loves Sarah and loves Sarah’s PAC money: Uh…Sarah…there wasn’t really any media around in 2007, unless you count that Ear lady at ADN. Those divorce rumors in 2007 were coming from your neighbors and the spa people, mostly. And that bitch at the coffee shop.
Sarah: Did that Ear lady say something about me and Tawd? Did we threaten her? 2007 was ages ago and I’ve had to threaten all those other people, bein’ proactive and whatnot, there, and, ya know, they were attacking me and spreadin’ rumors all over about this and that stuff, also.
Voice of “friend”: I don’t remember, but if you keep poking the media about divorce rumors they are going to notice that you are blaming them for rumors that happened before they were swarming all over the place.
Sarah: Being famous like me before that McCain crap, those Obama operatives, with their Alinsky notes, they were here back then, you betcha, sneakin’ around, knowin’ that I was gonna get tapped and wouldn’t blink, they were sneakin’, there, about this, and got those neighbors and haters to say stuff about me and Tawd, you betcha, way back then, and it was creepy, just sayin’.
Sarah: I know they did that, bein’ that they wanted to do frivilous ethics charges, which they made these Alaskans, there, do for them, and Tawd, well they probably followed him around and made up stuff. It was creepy I’ll bet, you betcha.
Voice of “friend”: That’s not really working out so well…
Sarah: Well keep on it! I can’t pay that creepy stalker woman anymore to do it because she keeps sending me creepy emails and hinting about me having Tawd and his buddies build her a room in the studio building. Now finish the envelopes before Piper gets home from her night janitor job at the spa. I need to finish this food so I can puke before she gets here, and you are slowing me down.