Hey Girl!: Update

Thanks to paulryangosling.tumblr.com and #paulryangosling on Twitter.

Hey Girl, I want to tell you about my plans for Pell Grants. But first… a hot piece of tail like you doesn’t really need to go to college. Am I right? xoxo

Hey Girl, I don’t believe in food stamps, but I won’t let you starve. I’ve got a man-meat burger for you. xoxo

Hey Girl, it’s not so much that I’m anti-woman, I’m just really, really, really pro-man. xoxo

Hey Girl, don’t let the personhood issue get you down. You still get to choose what to make for dinner. xoxo

Hey Girl, the only entitlements you can count on are cuddles from me. xoxo

Hey Girl, I hope you understand why I voted against equal pay for women. I just don’t think ladies should be paid anything for cooking, cleaning, and having babies. But damn you’re sexy. xoxo

Hey Girl, you look so cute when you’re losing your reproductive rights. xoxo

Hey Girl, you don’t need access to healthcare. My warm, soft kisses will make you well. xoxo

Hey Girl, I don’t believe in global warming. But I do believe in snuggles. xoxo

Hey Girl, I hope you’re middle class cuz I’m totally ready to screw you. xoxo

Hey Girl, just because I lied about the stimulus doesn’t mean you don’t stimulate me. xoxo

Hey Girl, they keep calling me Sarah Palin but my hair is real, and so are my man parts. Want to touch them? xoxo

Hey Girl, lets get together and draw dirty pictures on the whiteboard. xoxo

Hey Girl, my budget plans are as transparent as Mitt’s taxes. Wanna get naked? xoxo

Hey Girl, the Secret Service’s nickname for me is SnuggleBuns. Want to cuddle in the coat closet? xoxo

Hey Girl, my man-meat needs a P90X workout. Want to get sweaty? xoxo


9 responses to “Hey Girl!: Update

  1. Love the last comment!

  2. OMG!! I hope this goes viral. We need to twitter bomb it.

  3. yes yes!

  4. Funny is even funnier…and more poignant…with the Perils treatment. Glad you were inspired to weigh on the GOP’s latest VP travesty.

  5. Paulryangosling is still sitting on my bed looking for snuggles. Time to stuff him in a drawer.

  6. Most of the quotes I took directly off paulryangosling.tumblr and paulryangosling at twitter, but since I used the burger stand, I had to come up with that one myself.

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