The Bear

Sarah: Stop stop! I’m the bear! I’m the bear! You can’t eat me! Help!

Rill Bear 1: You don’t smell like a bear.

Rill Bear 2: You don’t look like a bear.

Rill Bear 1: Lady, I’m a bear, my buddy here is a bear. My Aunt Margaret is a bear. You….not a bear.

Sarah: But…but….I’m STRONGER than a bear! I have a still spine!

Rill Bear 2: Lady, these bear teeth of mine were made just for snapping still spines.

Sarah: But…but….I’m a commonsense conservative, just like you!

Sarah: You have too much commonsense to eat me!

Rill Bear 1: Lady, if you had any common sense, you would have stopped running around pretending you are a bear a long time ago.

Rill Bear 2: We bears don’t appreciate scrawny wannabees moving in on our territory.

Sarah: Who are you calling scrawny! I have tight abs, dang it! Help help!

Sarah: Maybe you don’t even exist! How do I know there ARE bears in the woods?

Rill Bear 1: Lady, you want to touch my fangs before I eat you? And we aren’t in the woods, we are in your yard.

Sarah: Tawd! Tawd! Help! Aaaaccckkkk!

Todd, from the driveway: Sorry Juicy, I’m heading out to film my reality show. Ask Piper. Oh, never mind, she’s in LA babysitting. Good luck! Gotta run!

Rill Bear 1: Snack time!

Rill Bear 1: There wasn’t anything juicy about that bite. Ugh. Left a bad taste in my mouth. And gristle in my teeth. Must be those abs. You got any beer to wash this shit down?

Rill Bear 2: Dude. You don’t share the crappy snack but you want some of my beer?


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