Armed with a latte from her countertop cappuccino machine, Zippy Trippy still asleep in the early morning hours, Bristle sits down for her morning round of Bristle-browsing.
Wow! Over 300 comments!
Tappity tap tap tap…You don’t know Bristle. She’s strong and has a high school degree and a hardworking job at the dermatologist, making lattes…tappity tappity…
I’m way more popular than my mom.
Tap tap tap…You don’t know that strong family that goes to Applebee’s. They laugh at haters. FACT.
Mom is going to be jealous that I am popular.
The blogs love me.
Kim Kardashian is so lower 48.
My new reality show about me exploring Alaska on my lunch break from my hardworking job at the dermatologist is going to be a big hit.
Mom’s show was, like, so politics and whatnot, and makin’ everybody fish and shoot and whack stuff and all, so yesterday Survivor for old people…
I mean, jeez, enough with the mama grizzly routine.
Mine will have cute guys and babies and puppies. Stuff like that. With cool outfits.
We’ll do artsy stuff like having wine coolers on a glacier.
Going to Anchorage for shopping and dinner, with puppies.
Taking Zippy Trippy to his playgroup…
Boy it’s tough to come up with stuff…
Ah! Movin’ into my new house across the lake!
That could be two episodes…
Better get the Zipper Tripper ready for the nanny. Big day workin’ for the dermatologist for a few minutes before I leave town again for the 3rd time this week…
Update: I have closed the comments on this post. While Bristle certainly provides much fodder for parody, I prefer to keep it light and silly, without any of the brutal picking away at her that goes on elsewhere. And this site is not a place to talk about Levi the parent, politics ala Palin, or what the Palins have done to other people. This site is about humor, not gossip or speculation or bitching. Faced with having to edit comments or simply not allow them through, I have chosen to simply close the comment section for this post. Please take this post for what it is: a not-too-cruel parody of a certain young woman with issues.
Update 2: Since I am reblogging this, I have reopened the comments. Please don’t make me close them. Read first update for guidelines. No trolls allowed (of course), and no mention of trolls, or the other stuff mentioned above. Keep it light, or I’ll shut down the comments faster than you can say “Brancy.”