Category Archives: bubble wrap

It started as a conga line…

…and evolved from there. How many familiar faces can you spot?

I’m just about out of retrospective posts, just in time to usher in the new year.

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Sarah Palin: Fashion Icon

Now that Christmas is over, I continue my countdown to no more Palins.

Sarah’s penchant for butt-ugly shoes has become a bloggy bone of contention, and I couldn’t help but notice that our dear Sarah has once again appeared in public wearing the latest in WTF.  Different venue, same drivelous speechifying, yet another round of shoe-puke.  Perhaps Sarah should become the spokeperson for expensive ugly shoes. She is actually an expert in that field. Imagine that.

Given that the Purchasing Department has made sure I have plenty of disgusting Sarah shoes, this post begged to be done.  I would have spent a little more time setting up with such accessories as Sarah’s famous jewelry, but I’m getting ready to leave town for a week or so, and I am rather busy.

First we have Conehead Sarah, who looks like she borrowed Piper’s clothes. Sarah’s Red Bull butt is too skinny for borrowing clothes from Bristle or Willow, so she has taken to raiding Piper’s clothes.

Yeah, tacky as hell.

Then we have one of Sarah’s favorite casual looks for meetin’ people when she “accidentally” shows up in high traffic zones.

Two Blackberries. Check. The Belmont Twins. Check.

Sparkly shoes that don’t match the casual jeans. Check.

If people pay Sarah the big bucks for a nice word salad rant, she will sometimes get out the fancy duds.

Yes, I know. The shoes never match and are typically uglier than the outfit.

Tacky hair. Check. Tacky outfit. Check. Blackberries. Oops, missing one. Tacky shoes. Check.

Back to casual.  Tacky hair. Check. Belmont Twins. Check. Overly casual for the event. Check.

Shoes don’t fit. Check.

Almost forgot the flag pin. Got it! Check. Piper must have the other Blackberry. Ordering new clothes no doubt.

I think Piper overfilled the Twins.

More speechifying. Time to look like a ho’ in some Hobaks.

Shiny polyester. Check. Short short skirt. Check. Ugly, poorly-fitting shoes. Check. Sloppy hair. Check.

You paid how much for those things?

Time for some rightwing speechifying. Flag pin. Check. Short short skirt for the guys. Check. Tall, tall heels for the guys. Check. Got that Blackberry back from Piper. Check. Darn! The Belmont Twins don’t fit under this blouse without some deflating. Half mast will have to do.

Forget the 3am phone call. Let’s just imagine that Sarah is speechifying in NY City one night, in this ridiculous getup, when a surprise visitor comes calling. I’d love to see her run in those things she calls shoes.

It started as a conga line…

…and evolved from there. How many familiar faces can you spot?

Sarah Palin: Fashion Icon

Sarah’s penchant for butt-ugly shoes has become a bloggy bone of contention, and I couldn’t help but notice that our dear Sarah has once again appeared in public wearing the latest in WTF.  Different venue, same drivelous speechifying, yet another round of shoe-puke.  Perhaps Sarah should become the spokeperson for expensive ugly shoes. She is actually an expert in that field. Imagine that.

Given that the Purchasing Department has made sure I have plenty of disgusting Sarah shoes, this post begged to be done.  I would have spent a little more time setting up with such accessories as Sarah’s famous jewelry, but I’m getting ready to leave town for a week or so, and I am rather busy.

First we have Conehead Sarah, who looks like she borrowed Piper’s clothes. Sarah’s Red Bull butt is too skinny for borrowing clothes from Bristle or Willow, so she has taken to raiding Piper’s clothes.

Yeah, tacky as hell.

Then we have one of Sarah’s favorite casual looks for meetin’ people when she “accidentally” shows up in high traffic zones.

Two Blackberries. Check. The Belmont Twins. Check.

Sparkly shoes that don’t match the casual jeans. Check.

If people pay Sarah the big bucks for a nice word salad rant, she will sometimes get out the fancy duds.

Yes, I know. The shoes never match and are typically uglier than the outfit.

Tacky hair. Check. Tacky outfit. Check. Blackberries. Oops, missing one. Tacky shoes. Check.

Back to casual.  Tacky hair. Check. Belmont Twins. Check. Overly casual for the event. Check.

Shoes don’t fit. Check.

Almost forgot the flag pin. Got it! Check. Piper must have the other Blackberry. Ordering new clothes no doubt.

I think Piper overfilled the Twins.

More speechifying. Time to look like a ho’ in some Hobaks.

Shiny polyester. Check. Short short skirt. Check. Ugly, poorly-fitting shoes. Check. Sloppy hair. Check.

You paid how much for those things?

Time for some rightwing speechifying. Flag pin. Check. Short short skirt for the guys. Check. Tall, tall heels for the guys. Check. Got that Blackberry back from Piper. Check. Darn! The Belmont Twins don’t fit under this blouse without some deflating. Half mast will have to do.

Forget the 3am phone call. Let’s just imagine that Sarah is speechifying in NY City one night, in this ridiculous getup, when a surprise visitor comes calling. I’d love to see her run in those things she calls shoes.

Bubblies go for a swim: Plastic Mayhem Update

How many of you, when you were kids, had those little inflatable flotation rings that slipped over your arms? I think they were called water wings.Well, since I’m still having fun with bubble wrap, I thought I’d try something similar with Sarah. As we talked about, her inflatable boobs look like they could work as a flotation device. Time to experiment and see if that is true.

The laboratory.

The subject.

Kerplunk!

Hmmm….it looks to me like there’s more air in her head than in her boobs.

How about we give her a bubble butt?

That would really annoy her.

Kerplunk!

Hey, that works well!

I’ll stick her up in the tree to drain and dry.

It’s an empathy butt.

Update: You didn’t think I’d pass up a chance to do in the Sarah doll, did you?

Still Life with Rock.

Sarah! This is PlasticLand God speaking! I TOLD you to crawl back under your rock! You NEVER listen. Now either live the rest of your life with a bubble butt, or take a swim with your rock.

I’d rather die than have a bubble butt!

Goodbye sweet millions! So many suckers, no time left.

Kerplunk!

Glug glug glug…

And PlasticLand God rejoiced. That flippin’ bitch was SO annoying!

Behind the scenes at Perils: Bubble wrap and masking tape: Update

While the purchasing department handles furniture, clothing, and accessories, I generally have to do my own body modifications. I use everything from actor’s putty and sharpies to bubble wrap and masking tape. Masking tape is my primary tape.  It has a variety of uses.  I have recently figured out several uses for bubble wrap. I still haven’t tried using it as a bumpit, as my sister suggested, but I will. The photos below show the usefulness of bubble wrap and masking tape.

These are the dolls I used for Bristle’s book signing.

Notice how the bubble wrap gives a very natural preggers belly.

A lot more realistic than a square couch pillow.

Depending on how I tape it, the bubble wrap can be rounder or flatter.

The mystery of Sarah’s incredible shrinking and swelling breasts is explained! Bubble wrap!

It gives a natural swell, just like a water bra.

I needed a way to make her boobs bigger without increasing her general body size. After all, it’s her anorexic body combined with the Wonderbra that makes old men drool.

I am forever trying to round out Bristle, because Barbies more accurately reflect mom’s obsessive thinness, not Bristle’s 20-something plumpness. The downside is that it reduces her wardrobe choices significantly.

I made RAM out of a weird gladiator Ken doll. I had to fatten her up, give her some boobs, and eliminate the 6-pack abs.

I can’t really capture that full-bodied look that Bristle has, so it is mostly a matter of removing the excess slimness and  giving her a bit of a belly, which she tends to have. RAM needed some toilet paper to round her out.

Perils Cat was helping.

I’ve had to account for those little back chipmunk cheeks Bristle is starting to show, behind her main lipo area and chin implant.

Perhaps Perils Cat is pointing out that I never gave RAM a complete sex change. If you can call that plastic bulge a sex organ.