Category Archives: bus

It started as a conga line…

…and evolved from there. How many familiar faces can you spot?

I’m just about out of retrospective posts, just in time to usher in the new year.

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It started as a conga line…

…and evolved from there. How many familiar faces can you spot?

Plastic Mayhem: Paul Revere and the Bus

The last time we checked in on half-assed, half-marathon Sarah, or, as OZ Mudflats calls her, “Our Lady of the Divine Sneakers,” she was trudging her way back home after dealing a death blow to the hopes and dreams of her crazy pack of flying monkeys. However, one rill American patriot doesn’t believe she is going to sit down and shut up, so he has decided to take things into his own hands.

Justice in PlasticLand is swift and mayhemy. It must be, because the Mordor of PlasticLand (PlasticDoor?) is pumping out an assembly line of Sarahs, each one screechier than the last. The good citizens of PlasticLand cannot rest until the fiery flames of PlasticDoor are quenched, and the Sarah mold is broken. Then, and only then, can the denizens of this fine land have their Banquet of Rejoicing.

Which courageous citizen of PlasticLand has stepped forward this time to take on one of the Sarahs?

It’s our hero, Paul Revere! Back for another round with the Great Screech of the North. Yay! We love you Paul!

And what will be his instrument of justice?

OMG, Paul and the Bus are reunited! Forward to the quest! Ring ring!! Blam blam!!

Paul spots Sarah trudging along. He speeds up.

Sarah sees the Bus.

She suddenly realizes it is coming for her. That Bus has become a h8ter. Sarah starts to run.

Paul and the Bus bear down on Sarah. Ring ring!! Blam blam!!

Sarah runs faster.

Not fast enough.

Ring ring!! Blam blam!! Bump bump!!

Then the Bus backs up. Bump bump!! Blam blam!! Ring ring!!

Forward again! Ring ring!! Blam blam!! Bump bump!!

And Paul rejoices!  Woohoo!!

Much rejoicing.  Woohoo woohoo!!

And peace descends upon the land until the next Sarah shows up.

Mystery Solved: What happened to the bus tour?

Although Sarah firmly asserted that the One Nation bus tour would resume after jury duty, the bus was not spotted again. Even though Sarah crashed the Iowa straw poll week by “accidentally” becoming a visitor at the Iowa State Fair, supposedly as part of her “bus tour” of America’s Heartland, she didn’t appear to show up with her bus.  Well, heck. The bus must have been left on some airplane tarmac when jury duty called. Seems like it would have been gassed and ready for the next leg of the tour.  hmmm….

…At an undisclosed location in the midwest, near some podunk airport…

Come ON, Piper! Push! We’re going to miss our plane.

Mom, I’m pushing as hard as I can. Maybe you could, like, help.

I’m saving my energy for future fake half marathons.  If you want your SarahPAC salary you need to flippin’ PUSH.

Yeah, whatever. Piper, do this, Piper, do that. Flippin’ Piper salary isn’t big enough.

What did you say?

Nothin’, mom. If you hadn’t thrown the bus driver under the bus when he took this shortcut, maybe the bus would still roll.  Just sayin’…

Not to mention Paul Revere and those other people…

(And Walt Monegan, an early tire-treadee.)

Oh moosecrap! All of them deserved it! Suck it, enemies!!

Paul, Joe, and RAM might not agree.

Walt Monegan still looks surprised.

The vaguely bearded one could have warned RAM. Or vice versa.

We’re going to be LATE.

You still have to fill my water bra, fix my hair, do my toenails, fix my hair, and iron my jeans. Come ON!

If you want some flippin’ school books this year you’d better push your flippin’ heart out.

I can hire people for this.

They’ll just quit, mom.

And write a book about you. You owe me a hair frost, a lipo, a botox, and a new outfit.

Piper, you know I’m good for it.

Yeah, mom, sure. Make the appointments.

Make the appointments!,” say the tire-treadees.

Put your butt into it, Piper Diaper, and I’ll up your allowance and SarahPAC salary! And make you a babe.

I have witnesses, says Piper.

Flippin’ world needs to do what I say.

Plenty of room under the bus for more enemies.

We need to meet Tawd at the fair. Arrange it people!

I need a raise. Bigtime.

Okay…okay! The flippin’ plane to the fair is waiting for us, and they are sending a car.  These people…so easy to control. They like their flippin’ balls…

H/T to Fan of Balto for the quick and easy post idea.

Paul Revere and the Bus

What if, instead of Paul Revere warning the colonists about the British, he instead was warning us about the Palin Bus? This modern version could play out in different ways. Below are alternate scenarios for Paul Revere and the Bus.

The Bus is coming! The Bus is coming!

Paul was a big man.

Not big enough.

Another one bites the dust.

The Palin Bus doesn’t stop for mere history.

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

Just a speed bump.

Follow the Bus at http://www.sarahpac.com.

Sigh. Paul Revere reduced to a historical “foot”note.

 

Well that was depressing.  I have a better idea.

The Bus is coming! The Bus is coming!

Die Hard!!

Paul wrestles the Bus as it careens down the road!

The Bus driver swerves madly in a failed attempt to throw Paul off the Bus!

Paul doesn’t lose his grip! The Bus is out of control!

Crash! Paul leaps clear and the Bus skids to a stop!

Woohoo!

One Nation for ALL of us! Not just the crazies!

Thanks folks. Just doing my civic duty. Speaking of which, I’m off to jury duty. USA! USA!

And the country rejoiced. Much rejoicing. Don’t forget to vote.

Tire treads

Hello RAM.

Uh, you might want to turn around.

Uh oh.

Oh shit.

Seeing the light.

Too late.

The wheels on the bus go round and round
Round and round, round and round
The wheels on the bus go round and round
All through PalinTown.