Category Archives: Sarah Palin

Pardon the mess

Happy Turkey Day!!

I don’t think it’s changed me at all, I have the same values and convictions and, and positions and policies, um, just a greater appreciation I think for what other candidates go through, you know it’s pretty brutal, that the, the time consumption there and the, um, the energy that has to be spent in order to get out and about with the message on a national level, great appreciation for other candidates who’ve gone through this but also, uh, just a great appreciation for this great country.

There are so many Americans who are just desiring of their country to just get out of the way and let their businesses grow and progress, so great appreciation for those who share that value, and it was a blast, every day was just a blast out there on the trail.

Reporter: Any other future plans for office?

Um, ya know, plans just include, uh, gittin’ through, uh, the budget process that we’re going through right now, building the state’s budget based on, uh, the price of oil that has plummeted so greatly and reining in the growth of government and, uh, uh plans LIKE THAT having to do with uh, helping to govern this state and building this team that, uh, is continually being built to provide good service to Alaskans, so in my role as governor, that, that’s what my plans are all around.

Reporter: Speaking of declining oil prices are you concerned about any state programs on the chopping block?

You know thankfully we’re in a good position still, fiscally speaking we’re in a good position, but, it, made no sense that a hundred and forty dollars a barrel oil, that, that some lawmakers wanted to spend spend spend, we were warning them then the administration was that we had to prepare for the day that the price of oil would plummet which of course it has done.

So we have prepared then, reined in the growth of government then, and we will, um now, uh, uh that comes into play at this point, where the savings we had set aside, forward funding, anticipating the drop in oil, uh, accounting for that, all that comes into play now, at fifty dollars a barrel.

Reporter: Great! So why was today so important to you for…?

Aaaoohhhwww…well this was, this was neat. I was, uh, happy to get to be invited to participate in this and, and uh, you know, it’s, it’s for one, you need a little bit of levity in this job, especially with uh, so much that has gone on the last couple of months that has been so, um, political obviously, that it’s nice to get out and , and do something to promote a local business and, and to uh, just participate in something that isn’t so heavy-handed politics that it invites criticism….Certainly we’ll probably invite criticism for even doing this too but at least this is fun.

Reporter: And what is it that you’re thankful for this year?

Blah blah thankful blah family blah

Track blah Iraq blah blah

Trig blah blah thankfulness blah blah Alaska blah Alaska blah blah…

blah blah food

tradition blah blah Alaska

blah blah friends family Alaska blah

Reporter: What are you gonna cook for Thanksgiving?

I-I-I’ll be in charge of the turkey…

 






Pardon the mess, the gift that keeps giving

Happy Turkey Day!!

I don’t think it’s changed me at all, I have the same values and convictions and, and positions and policies, um, just a greater appreciation I think for what other candidates go through, you know it’s pretty brutal, that the, the time consumption there and the, um, the energy that has to be spent in order to get out and about with the message on a national level, great appreciation for other candidates who’ve gone through this but also, uh, just a great appreciation for this great country.

There are so many Americans who are just desiring of their country to just get out of the way and let their businesses grow and progress, so great appreciation for those who share that value, and it was a blast, every day was just a blast out there on the trail.

Reporter: Any other future plans for office?

Um, ya know, plans just include, uh, gittin’ through, uh, the budget process that we’re going through right now, building the state’s budget based on, uh, the price of oil that has plummeted so greatly and reining in the growth of government and, uh, uh plans LIKE THAT having to do with uh, helping to govern this state and building this team that, uh, is continually being built to provide good service to Alaskans, so in my role as governor, that, that’s what my plans are all around.

Reporter: Speaking of declining oil prices are you concerned about any state programs on the chopping block?

You know thankfully we’re in a good position still, fiscally speaking we’re in a good position, but, it, made no sense that a hundred and forty dollars a barrel oil, that, that some lawmakers wanted to spend spend spend, we were warning them then the administration was that we had to prepare for the day that the price of oil would plummet which of course it has done.

So we have prepared then, reined in the growth of government then, and we will, um now, uh, uh that comes into play at this point, where the savings we had set aside, forward funding, anticipating the drop in oil, uh, accounting for that, all that comes into play now, at fifty dollars a barrel.

Reporter: Great! So why was today so important to you for…?

Aaaoohhhwww…well this was, this was neat. I was, uh, happy to get to be invited to participate in this and, and uh, you know, it’s, it’s for one, you need a little bit of levity in this job, especially with uh, so much that has gone on the last couple of months that has been so, um, political obviously, that it’s nice to get out and , and do something to promote a local business and, and to uh, just participate in something that isn’t so heavy-handed politics that it invites criticism….Certainly we’ll probably invite criticism for even doing this too but at least this is fun.

Reporter: And what is it that you’re thankful for this year?

Blah blah thankful blah family blah

Track blah Iraq blah blah

Trig blah blah thankfulness blah blah Alaska blah Alaska blah blah…

blah blah food

tradition blah blah Alaska

blah blah friends family Alaska blah

Reporter: What are you gonna cook for Thanksgiving?

I-I-I’ll be in charge of the turkey…

 






The Bear

Sarah: Stop stop! I’m the bear! I’m the bear! You can’t eat me! Help!

Rill Bear 1: You don’t smell like a bear.

Rill Bear 2: You don’t look like a bear.

Rill Bear 1: Lady, I’m a bear, my buddy here is a bear. My Aunt Margaret is a bear. You….not a bear.

Sarah: But…but….I’m STRONGER than a bear! I have a still spine!

Rill Bear 2: Lady, these bear teeth of mine were made just for snapping still spines.

Sarah: But…but….I’m a commonsense conservative, just like you!

Sarah: You have too much commonsense to eat me!

Rill Bear 1: Lady, if you had any common sense, you would have stopped running around pretending you are a bear a long time ago.

Rill Bear 2: We bears don’t appreciate scrawny wannabees moving in on our territory.

Sarah: Who are you calling scrawny! I have tight abs, dang it! Help help!

Sarah: Maybe you don’t even exist! How do I know there ARE bears in the woods?

Rill Bear 1: Lady, you want to touch my fangs before I eat you? And we aren’t in the woods, we are in your yard.

Sarah: Tawd! Tawd! Help! Aaaaccckkkk!

Todd, from the driveway: Sorry Juicy, I’m heading out to film my reality show. Ask Piper. Oh, never mind, she’s in LA babysitting. Good luck! Gotta run!

Rill Bear 1: Snack time!

Rill Bear 1: There wasn’t anything juicy about that bite. Ugh. Left a bad taste in my mouth. And gristle in my teeth. Must be those abs. You got any beer to wash this shit down?

Rill Bear 2: Dude. You don’t share the crappy snack but you want some of my beer?

Sarah, you’ll not be asked back

I’ve decided to do a Palin retrospective to finish off the year. I will be posting my favorite old Palin episodes to get a few last laughs at Sarah’s expense.  Re-live with me the slow-motion trainwreck who has been gulping and gasping her way downstream with the flow of garbage these last few years.  Chill that bottle of champagne so that you can usher in a new year without the Wasilla Wonderbra Wannabe. Make that resolution to live a life without the demented drama queens of dead Lake Lucille. Remind yourself that responding to that Kristy person only feeds her delusions. Psychotic trolls have no place in society. Pitch them. Wipe the slate clean and march into the new year with your all-natural chin held high, and your expectations held higher. “Running with the Red Bulls: A Palin Fitness Fantasy” will not be a best seller and you know it. Walk away.

Pardon the mess

Happy Turkey Day!!

I don’t think it’s changed me at all, I have the same values and convictions and, and positions and policies, um, just a greater appreciation I think for what other candidates go through, you know it’s pretty brutal, that the, the time consumption there and the, um, the energy that has to be spent in order to get out and about with the message on a national level, great appreciation for other candidates who’ve gone through this but also, uh, just a great appreciation for this great country.

There are so many Americans who are just desiring of their country to just get out of the way and let their businesses grow and progress, so great appreciation for those who share that value, and it was a blast, every day was just a blast out there on the trail.

Reporter: Any other future plans for office?

Um, ya know, plans just include, uh, gittin’ through, uh, the budget process that we’re going through right now, building the state’s budget based on, uh, the price of oil that has plummeted so greatly and reining in the growth of government and, uh, uh plans LIKE THAT having to do with uh, helping to govern this state and building this team that, uh, is continually being built to provide good service to Alaskans, so in my role as governor, that, that’s what my plans are all around.

Reporter: Speaking of declining oil prices are you concerned about any state programs on the chopping block?

You know thankfully we’re in a good position still, fiscally speaking we’re in a good position, but, it, made no sense that a hundred and forty dollars a barrel oil, that, that some lawmakers wanted to spend spend spend, we were warning them then the administration was that we had to prepare for the day that the price of oil would plummet which of course it has done.

So we have prepared then, reined in the growth of government then, and we will, um now, uh, uh that comes into play at this point, where the savings we had set aside, forward funding, anticipating the drop in oil, uh, accounting for that, all that comes into play now, at fifty dollars a barrel.

Reporter: Great! So why was today so important to you for…?

Aaaoohhhwww…well this was, this was neat. I was, uh, happy to get to be invited to participate in this and, and uh, you know, it’s, it’s for one, you need a little bit of levity in this job, especially with uh, so much that has gone on the last couple of months that has been so, um, political obviously, that it’s nice to get out and , and do something to promote a local business and, and to uh, just participate in something that isn’t so heavy-handed politics that it invites criticism….Certainly we’ll probably invite criticism for even doing this too but at least this is fun.

Reporter: And what is it that you’re thankful for this year?

Blah blah thankful blah family blah

Track blah Iraq blah blah

Trig blah blah thankfulness blah blah Alaska blah Alaska blah blah…

blah blah food

tradition blah blah Alaska

blah blah friends family Alaska blah

Reporter: What are you gonna cook for Thanksgiving?

I-I-I’ll be in charge of the turkey…

 






Meltdown

 

Twit

tap tap tap tap tappity tap tap tap

tappity tap tap tappity tappity tap tap tap

Sarah Palin@SarahPalinUSA:

Good work, media. My ’07 “divorce” email was a joke mocking you for making up divorce rumors. Keep up the, er, credibility-building efforts!

Sarah: That’ll fix ’em!

Voice of “friend” who has known Sarah a long time and therefore loves her bunches, unlike those immature haters who don’t know her. The “friend” is doing her monthly stamp-licking because she loves Sarah and loves Sarah’s PAC money: Uh…Sarah…there wasn’t really any media around in 2007,  unless you count that Ear lady at ADN. Those divorce rumors in 2007 were coming from your neighbors and the spa people, mostly. And that bitch at the coffee shop.

Sarah: Did that Ear lady say something about me and Tawd? Did we threaten her? 2007 was ages ago and I’ve had to threaten all those other people, bein’ proactive and whatnot, there, and, ya know, they were attacking me and spreadin’ rumors all over about this and that stuff, also.

Voice of “friend”:  I don’t remember, but if you keep poking the media about divorce rumors they are going to notice that you are blaming them for rumors that happened before they were swarming all over the place.

Sarah: Being famous like me before that McCain crap, those Obama operatives, with their Alinsky notes, they were here back then, you betcha, sneakin’ around, knowin’ that I was gonna get tapped and wouldn’t blink, they were sneakin’, there, about this, and got those neighbors and haters to say stuff about me and Tawd, you betcha, way back then, and it was creepy, just sayin’.

Sarah: I know they did that, bein’ that they wanted to do frivilous ethics charges, which they made these Alaskans, there, do for them, and Tawd, well they probably followed him around and made up stuff. It was creepy I’ll bet, you betcha.

Voice of “friend”: That may well be, but I’m just saying that if you are thinking about running for anything, you don’t want the media back up here snooping around about divorce rumors in 2007.

Sarah: Unflippin’believable for them to do that. They are all Obama operatives.

Voice of “friend”: Just cool it with the twittermocking and maybe they won’t notice the dates.

Sarah: I’ve got ’em so pussy-whipped they will never get cojones to be sneakin’ around here makin’ up rumors before I even get tapped for Energy Secretary.

Sarah: They’re too lamestream. They won’t notice. Time for my crunchwrap.

Sarah: But you better go over to that blog and make sure they know they are wrong about this, there.

Voice of “friend”: That’s not really working out so well…

Sarah: Well keep on it! I can’t pay that creepy stalker woman anymore to do it because she keeps sending me creepy emails and hinting about me having Tawd and his buddies build her a room in the studio building. Now finish the envelopes before Piper gets home from her night janitor job at the spa.  I need to finish this food so I can puke before she gets here, and you are slowing me down.