A Christmas Story

On a warm morning in late September, a bouncing baby boy barbie was born. Mary and Joseph, the happy parents, had had to stop at an old grotto barn in the Judean Hills  because Mary’s water broke before they got to Bethlehem for the Carpentry Conference. The baby wasn’t due for a couple of weeks, and Bethlehem wasn’t far from home, so the couple thought they could fit in the conference. Baby boy barbie had other plans. Mary was going to miss the annual Carpenters’ Wives Potluck, and, as president of the CWA, her usual rousing speech would be missed. Joseph would be missing the windowsill workshop he had been looking forward to, but babies come when they decide to, and the hospital in Bethlehem was kind of scruffy anyway.

Lucky for them, Mary and Joseph encountered Myrrhy along the road to Bethlehem, and he told them his old barn and his new business were just around the bend. He also mentioned that he used to be a midwife, and that the barn was clean and comfy. Then he lent Joseph his cell phone so that Joseph could call Paul Revere and tell him that the time and location of the Birth Dinner would have to be changed. Paul was in charge of communications and security for PlasticLand, and he worked out of his mobile command center (red convertible). He promised to let the caterer know the new time and place.

Myrrhy got the couple settled in the barn, got some water boiling at his burger stand, and then coached Mary as she huffed and puffed and looked at her focal point. Joseph put some clean straw in the manger to use as a bed for the baby and coordinated a few more details on the phone with Paul while watching Mary push.  Little boy barbie popped out and the couple rejoiced. Myrrhy rejoiced. Much rejoicing.

Paul arrived and rejoiced. He brought his favorite wench from 1775 and she rejoiced too. Just then, Erma One Hand, the senior partner of Three Chefs Catering, arrived with the food truck, the play tent for the kids, and some coconut water to hydrate the new mom. Erma  had the tent up and the food out in no time. She got permission from Myrrhy to set up the bar at the burger stand, where it would be out of reach of the kids.

Tired new mom and dad brought little boy barbie out to enjoy the warm day and watch the party plans unfold. Their PlasticLand friends began to arrive, bringing more food and some presents. The sun was warm. Bees buzzed and birds twittered. The mood was festive as people welcomed the newest member of PlasticLand.

Little boy barbie looks around at the world.

Rin Tin Tin is impressed with baby boy barbie.

Erma finishes the kid’s tent.

Spot guards the food.

I think the wench is doing what is known as a “chest thrust.”

Erma has her act together.

Spot takes his job seriously.

Mom and dad relax in the sun.

Spot still guarding the food.

Paul arrives in his command car. Ring ring!! Blam blam!!

Erma is ready for a drink, if she can get past the chest thrust.

Erma admires little boy barbie.

Guests begin to arrive.

Dad takes little boy barbie so Mom can settle on her pillows and rest.

“Sit and rest, hon. Erma has some coconut water for you.”

Get a room!

Redhead is impressed with what Erma did in such a short time.  She wants to hire the Three Chefs for her parents’ 50th anniversary.

Spot guards the french fries.

Mom gets comfy.

Little boy barbie gets tucked into the manger.

Mom, Dad, and little boy barbie.

More guests arrive and want to see the baby.

What is Paul up to now?

Proud Dad shows off the baby.

The men talk about manly things.

Erma gets complimented on her nice spread.

Rin Tin Tin guards the food.

More guests, more congratulations, more kids.

The kids gather in the kid tent.

The party is really hopping now.

Guests continue to arrive.

KO arrives.

Rin Tin Tin plays with the kids.

KO tells a good story.

Everybody had something to eat. The desserts still beckon. Spot guards them.

KO talks to the ladies.

Rin Tin Tin helps Spot with guard duty.

The party is in full swing.

when up on the roof there arose such a clatter…

Aliens we have heard on high…

Paul heard from the alien on high, that those pesky British were annoyingly nigh…

Paul left little boy barbie’s present with the wench while he dashed off to chase away the British.

“Hurry back, Paul!”

“I’ll be back in a flash, wench!”

And sure enough, Paul ditched the pesky British and returned to give his gift to little boy barbie.

Mom showed off little boy barbie in his new hat.

What a handsome little boy barbie!

And the citizens of PlasticLand rejoiced.

Much rejoicing.

More rejoicing.

Lots of rejoicing.

Woohoo!!

Hooray for little boy barbie!

Little boy barbie is impressed with the rejoicing. He wants to grow up to be a good rejoicer.

Spot claims shotgun for the ride home.

And so it came to be that another citizen of PlasticLand was born and was rejoiced. And Peace descended upon the land.

Good luck, good friends, good health, good cheer, I’m wishing to you for the coming year!

Away in a manger, no cap for his head
The little boy Barbie turns blue and not red
The Paul Revere doll looked over and cried
“The British are coming! The baby must hide!

I’ll ring my bell loudly to lead them astray!
Blam blam and ring ring will keep them away!
My fine steed is lowing, whatever that is
Warning & ringing is always my biz!

Now that I’ve made such a rapturous noise
The angels on high will look after this boy
A hat for his head is what he needs most,
Angels don’t sew, yet miracles they boast!”

The Brits & their hounds soon thunder away
Blind to boy Barbie all snuggled in hay
Paul Revere cheers & knits a blue cap
To do so, the angels did find him an app!

Pardon the mess

A blast from the past with some Thanksgiving humor.

The Perils of Plastic

Happy Turkey Day!!

I don’t think it’s changed me at all, I have the same values and convictions and, and positions and policies, um, just a greater appreciation I think for what other candidates go through, you know it’s pretty brutal, that the, the time consumption there and the, um, the energy that has to be spent in order to get out and about with the message on a national level, great appreciation for other candidates who’ve gone through this but also, uh, just a great appreciation for this great country.

There are so many Americans who are just desiring of their country to just get out of the way and let their businesses grow and progress, so great appreciation for those who share that value, and it was a blast, every day was just a blast out there on the trail.

Reporter: Any other future plans for office?

Um…

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Pardon the mess

Happy Turkey Day!!

I don’t think it’s changed me at all, I have the same values and convictions and, and positions and policies, um, just a greater appreciation I think for what other candidates go through, you know it’s pretty brutal, that the, the time consumption there and the, um, the energy that has to be spent in order to get out and about with the message on a national level, great appreciation for other candidates who’ve gone through this but also, uh, just a great appreciation for this great country.

There are so many Americans who are just desiring of their country to just get out of the way and let their businesses grow and progress, so great appreciation for those who share that value, and it was a blast, every day was just a blast out there on the trail.

Reporter: Any other future plans for office?

Um, ya know, plans just include, uh, gittin’ through, uh, the budget process that we’re going through right now, building the state’s budget based on, uh, the price of oil that has plummeted so greatly and reining in the growth of government and, uh, uh plans LIKE THAT having to do with uh, helping to govern this state and building this team that, uh, is continually being built to provide good service to Alaskans, so in my role as governor, that, that’s what my plans are all around.

Reporter: Speaking of declining oil prices are you concerned about any state programs on the chopping block?

You know thankfully we’re in a good position still, fiscally speaking we’re in a good position, but, it, made no sense that a hundred and forty dollars a barrel oil, that, that some lawmakers wanted to spend spend spend, we were warning them then the administration was that we had to prepare for the day that the price of oil would plummet which of course it has done.

So we have prepared then, reined in the growth of government then, and we will, um now, uh, uh that comes into play at this point, where the savings we had set aside, forward funding, anticipating the drop in oil, uh, accounting for that, all that comes into play now, at fifty dollars a barrel.

Reporter: Great! So why was today so important to you for…?

Aaaoohhhwww…well this was, this was neat. I was, uh, happy to get to be invited to participate in this and, and uh, you know, it’s, it’s for one, you need a little bit of levity in this job, especially with uh, so much that has gone on the last couple of months that has been so, um, political obviously, that it’s nice to get out and , and do something to promote a local business and, and to uh, just participate in something that isn’t so heavy-handed politics that it invites criticism….Certainly we’ll probably invite criticism for even doing this too but at least this is fun.

Reporter: And what is it that you’re thankful for this year?

Blah blah thankful blah family blah

Track blah Iraq blah blah

Trig blah blah thankfulness blah blah Alaska blah Alaska blah blah…

blah blah food

tradition blah blah Alaska

blah blah friends family Alaska blah

Reporter: What are you gonna cook for Thanksgiving?

I-I-I’ll be in charge of the turkey…

 

A peaceful interlude

A Christmas Story

The Perils of Plastic

On a warm morning in late September, a bouncing baby boy barbie was born. Mary and Joseph, the happy parents, had had to stop at an old grotto barn in the Judean Hills  because Mary’s water broke before they got to Bethlehem for the Carpentry Conference. The baby wasn’t due for a couple of weeks, and Bethlehem wasn’t far from home, so the couple thought they could fit in the conference. Baby boy barbie had other plans. Mary was going to miss the annual Carpenters’ Wives Potluck, and, as president of the CWA, her usual rousing speech would be missed. Joseph would be missing the windowsill workshop he had been looking forward to, but babies come when they decide to, and the hospital in Bethlehem was kind of scruffy anyway.

Lucky for them, Mary and Joseph encountered Myrrhy along the road to Bethlehem, and he told them his old barn…

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